Dan's Lawyer Jokes Page
The world of joking has become much more limited now that we live in a
PC (politically correct) society. We are not allowed to make fun of
people's inherent traits :-(. But that doesn't stop us from
tearing them up on their personal choices... Bring on the lawyer
jokes!
What's the difference between a dead lawyer on the road and a dead dog
on the road?
There are skid marks before the dog.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
If you give viagra to a lawyer, he just gets taller.
A doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are stuck on an island where they
can see the mainland, but it is surrounded by circling sharks. After a
while they start to go stir crazy. The doctor loses it and shouts
running towards the water "I don't care anymore, I've got to try swimming
to shore!" Just in time, the lawyer stops him and says "Let me go."
He jumps in the water, and immediately all the sharks form a gauntlet
straight to the mainland, and the lawyer swims safely to shore to get
help. The doctor looks at this with his jaw hanging on his chest, and
the accountant says "... professional courtesy."
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their
work.
The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on.
Everything inside is numbered."
"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon. "When
you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered."
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their
organs are color coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless,
spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangeable."
What is the difference between a lawyer and a cock pheasant?
One clucks defiance.
A Non Sequitur cartoon from the
WileyToons Web Site.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman
sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there,
how's it going tonight?"
She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll
screw anybody any time, any where, any place, it doesn't matter to
me."
The guy raises his eyebrows and says, "No kidding? What law firm do
you work for?"
Visit the
Lawyer Joke Page at Nolo Press.
This page created with blood, sweat, and vi.
