Dan's Bill Gates Joke Page
<Billy Killer Arcade Game>
Bill Gates dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells him he is
sending him to Hell for a day and to Heaven for a day. He then gets to
decide which one he wants to stay in for eternity. First Bill goes to
Hell, and he ends up on a beach with beautiful women and all the food
he can eat, everything his heart desires. The next day he is sent to
Heaven. It's just a bunch of boring people on clouds.
St. Peter brings him back and asks him where he wants to go, Hell or
Heaven? Bill says to send him to Hell. When he gets there he is
chained, and it is burning hot�You know, pretty much Hell. Bill yells
up to St. Peter "What happened? The other day it was beautiful down
here."
St. Peter yells back down "Oh, Yeah... That was the DEMO!!"
Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. They are talking, and
Bill says "I've seen some great pictures of Divine Brown lately, I sure
would like to get together with her!"
Hugh replies "Well Bill, you know... ever since our incident, her price
has skyrocketed, she's charging a small fortune."
Bill (with a chuckle), "Hugh, money's no object to me; what's her
number?" So, Hugh gives Bill her number and Bill sets up a date.
They meet, and, after they finish, Bill is lying there in ecstasy,
mumbling "God ...now I know why you chose the name Divine." To which
she replies "Thank you, Bill... And now I know why you chose the
name... Microsoft."
c. 1998
Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates are invited to see God. He tells them,
"I have gathered the three most important people of the world to pass
on my message: Tomorrow, I will destroy the earth!"
Yeltsin goes to his council and says, "I have bad news and I have
more bad news:
���� - God exists, and
���� - He will destroy the earth tomorrow."
Clinton goes to the White House and says, "I have good news and I have
bad news:
���� - The good news is that God acknowledged that I didn't have sex with
Monica!
���� - The bad news is that he will destroy the earth tomorrow."
Bill Gates enters Microsoft headquarters and says, "I have good news
and I have good news:
���� - I'm one of the three most important people on earth, and
���� - The year 2000 problem is solved!"
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